Dreams

Ok, so for the last two nights I have been dreaming about family members - its all very weird..

The first one, I was at the old house that I grew up in and my mum, sister & dad were there. My sister was trying to do something with my hair. I went outside and dad was watering the garden - he had the sprinkler going and the cat (which wasn't actually our cat but in the dream it was), was actually running through the sprinkler and dad told me to get it away from there because it shouldn't be doing that. I managed to get it away but it was just running around the backyard & thats when I noticed it was raining... at which time I wondered why dad had the sprinkler going in the rain... just a side note - my dad passed away in 2008.

The one last night was a little more involved and I can't really remember what was going on but I do know that my mum, my sister, my nana, my niece Aimee, her daughter, my great niece Courtney & her mother were all there... my nana passed away in 2005...

Like I say.... weird

The Diabolical Masterplan

Ok so here it is... the diabolical masterplan - unfortunately I don't have any minions to help carry this out... I gotta get me some minions!!

Right so my long service leave becomes available in February 2014 - so pretty much 3 years today! The plan is to work at QUT until my long service leave kicks in - maybe a couple more months and then leave. This part of the plan changes all the time - not sure if I will leave & get my LSL paid out or whether I will go on LSL and still accrue leave whilst on leave and then get a pay out at the end...

Either way I will be intitled to 65 days LSL. I predict that I will have approximately 30.89 annual leave days owed to me - thats with taking 2 weeks leave this year & 3 next year. Which means I would get approximately $17338 as a payout amount if I leave at 31/01/2014. Obviously the longer I stay the more I get, but that's pretty much the amount I am going with at the moment.

So the plan that I have in my head at the mo is that I work until maybe September 2014 and then leave heading over the America. My friend Gailene is renewing her wedding vows in Vegas in October 2014 after a trip to Disneyworld Orlando, so I am thinking of meeting them in either Vegas or Orlando.. but either way I know people in Sacremento, Vegas, just outside of Houston, Louisana & Buffalo so I am pretty sure I will find plenty to do... of course I will end my US trip in NYC and then fly to London where I plan to stay for a good month, doing day trips to Canterbury, Brighton, Bath, Oxford, Cambridge etc and then head to Edinburgh for a week and Dublin for a week. I would really like to head to Denmark for a little bit of time too oh and Germany.

So yeah the plan would be to leave Brisbane in about September 2014 and probably be away until about late January 2015 - I would love to have Christmas in England. Then I am thinking of heading back to Christchurch to live.

I have to be honest, I am a little over Brisbane but I want my LSL and I only have 3 years to go so I am sure I can last for that long. The other thing is that I am paying off a debt that will be paid off in about October 2012 and that means that I will have at least 2 years of saving that will help too (thats the plan of course!).

There is just one fly in the ointment... by the time I get back to Christchurch I will be 42! Holy crap!!! 42!!!! That is old! I am hoping that I will be able to pick up work easily enough. I don't mind temping to be honest - I mean my last two jobs came from temping so its not like I won't be use to it. Also - sounds morbid, but I hope my mum is still around then. Not that it is a necessity that she be around but you know, it would be nice to be able to be there for her... 3 years is a long time and a lot can happen in that time.

So yeah... there it is... my big diabolical plan! I am actually really excited about it - the travel to the UK especially.. I have been back from my trip for over 2 months and it now seems like a lifetime a go... This trip I am planning would definitely be a trip of a lifetime tho and it would really let me see a lot of places and tick them off my list.

Plus... I love the planning :)

Not to sure what to make of it all

Well, I really don't know what to think... part of me wonders if I am cursed, part of me wonders if its just the weather & mother nature and then another part of me wonders if its the start of the end of the world...

Let me give you an idea of what has happened to me in the past few months:

1) So we gather in Chch for my mother's 80th birthday and on the day of mums birthday - 4th September 2010 at 4.37am without warning, a 7.1 richter scale earthquake occurs forcing the city into chaos. Being the start of spring, the city is in darkness because the power goes out. You have no idea what the rest of the city is like and sitting there relaying on someone's iPhone showing pictures of what one could only describe as a warzone. There are pictures of buildings down, rubble over the streets, people roaming the streets looking lost. If thats not enough, then you have to deal with the aftershocks... you don't know when they are going to hit or how big they will be. Geonet.org.nz becomes the most visited website in the country! You hear stories of lucky escapes and not so lucky escapes. The miracle is that no one was killed! I had a week in Chch after the quake and I came back to Brisbane I constantly felt quakes... it was a very nervous couple of weeks - probably took a good month for me to get back to normal - let alone the people still in Chch...

2) In the UK with my sister and we leave for Paris on 18th November.. we get back in to Brisbane on 23rd November... one week later the UK and parts of Europe are under snow. Ok so we weren't actually there but it was a pretty close call to be honest. If we had been just one week later we would have been forced to sleep at the airport!

3) Brisbane January 2011 - the floods... I say floods mean plural!! Toowoomba, Ipswich, Grantham and Brisbane city and surrounding suburbs... suburbs I didn't even know were anywhere near a river where under water to their roofs.. We were lucky. We live opposite Kedron Brook - which on Tuesday 11th January (incidently my nephews birthday) was really high due to the rain... luckily the rain stopped because if it didn't I could be telling you a completely different story. Most people haven't been at work since Tuesday. The CBD was pretty much completely closed down and had no power. The buses & trains were stopped on Wednesday at 1pm, on Thursday out of over 200 bus routes the city has only 7 of them were operating and that was on limited services. Its really weird to go thru this again because a lot of the information and advice is the same - don't go out unless you have to, keep away from danger areas, this will change the face of the city forever, we will rebuild, etc.

One thing came out of this tho - my friend Suzanne use to work for a local Chch tv station and knows someone who works for TV3, she asked if I would want my details sent to them because I was in the quake as well as this.. so yes, I got interviewed for the TV3 news and was on last night - I have never had so many text & FB messages... haha

I am really hoping that the close call in the UK is the 2nd of the "things happen in 3's" scenario... I really don't think I could actually go through this again. Although I wasn't directly impacted with anything destroyed, you just have frayed nerves because you just don't know when, what, or how things are going to happen.

A Song For Me

Have you ever heard a song and thought "that has been written with me in mind"? You know the ones, where every single lyric seems to have been written about you & your life at that very moment in time.

At the moment mine is Down by Jason Walker (see below for lyrics). Seriously every single lyric has been written for me. Some people might listen to it and think its a depressing, sad song and others might listen to it and think that its a song about making a decision with your life... either way, I think the lyrics are really what drives that song and that it could be able anyone in any situation.

You often want to get on with things but life gets in the way and sometimes you feel like you are standing back waiting for something to happen, waiting while the world passes you by and thinking that its never gonna happen for you.

I feel like that often. I know its of my own making and I guess I am the only one that can push my way through, but sometimes I just wish that there was someone on the other side helping me get out of the funk I'm in right now.

Anyway... here's the song -

Down by Jason Walker

I don’t know where I’m at
I’m standing at the back
And I’m tired of waiting
Waiting here in line, hoping that I’ll find what I’ve been chasing.

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m gonna to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it’s coming down, down, down.

Not ready to let go
Cause then I'd never know
What I could be missing
But I’m missing way too much
So when do I give up what I’ve been wishing for.

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m gonna to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it’s coming down, down, down.
Oh I am going down, down, down
Can’t find another way around
And I don’t want to hear the sound, of losing what I never found.

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m gonna to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
I never know why it’s coming down, down, down.

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m gonna to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Oh it’s coming down, down, down.

2010...

Ok so its near the end of 2010... and man what a year!

Lowlights of the year:

• Well number one for me would be the earthquake in Christchurch on my mums 80th birthday. It was really not a pleasant time for all concerned. Yes I am glad that we were all there together, but I am really upset that mum didn't get the afternoon tea that we had arranged for her with all her friends. Months of planning basically went down the drain and there was nothing we could do about it at all. I remember the feeling of hopelessness and not being able to fix things. It was a horrible time, but in saying that, I was so impressed with the resilence of the Chch people... the way we all banded together and the infrastructive of the city, I think thats why there was no loss of life. Yes we have lost some amazingly beautiful and historic buildings but nothing would have mattered as much if there had been deaths due to the quake. The sad thing is that they are still carrying on - the quakes that is... another spate of them hit the city on Boxing Day... you just never know when its going to hit...
• Being broken into... yep thats right.. but wait it gets better!! I arrive home on Friday 29th October (yes for those of you who know... is the day before I am due to leave for the UK!!) to find the screen on my bedroom window askew - the first thing I think is "man it must have been some wind" and the second thing I think is "hmmm it wasn't windy today"... needless to say, I did realise that I had been broken into and the only thing that was taken... yes the only thing.... was my laptop!!! Oh wait... that wasn't the only thing - they also took the friggin laptop bag. So there I am in my living room with my neighbours talking to the cops about my break in and I keep thinking... holy crap - I am going away tomorrow. I have to say that that girls upstairs were just amazing! I mean they were awesome throughout the whole thing. It was such a blow. I mean I was going to take my laptop with me and everything but well I couldn't now. I got back on 23rd November and it took another 3 weeks before I got a replacement laptop but hey - it only cost me $100 because I have insurance so I guess 3 weeks is not much to ask for! The cops & the insurance company were amazing and I pretty much got everything sorted before I left. To be honest I didn't really think about it much while I was away - I figured I couldn't really do much about it anyway so I might as well enjoy my trip.
  
• The miners being lost - this didn't effect me directly but it would be remiss of me to leave it out of this list - especially when I know so many people who knew people that were effected. My sister and I were in Paris when it happened and the only english tv station they had at the hotel was BBC World News so it was basically all we saw for 3 days. Such a tragedy and so many were lost. I feel for the families in this, however I do think that because so many people were lost, the families will be able to draw strength from each other because it affected so many. I know its wouldn't comfort them right now and then with the closure of the mine and loss of jobs just before Christmas but I do think that everything happens for a reason and out of this disaster something good will come.
• Christmas 2010 - this has to be my worst Christmas ever! I don't know what it was about this year but I missed my dad more, I felt more alone than ever and the lead up to one of my most depressing days that I can recall was like the calm before the storm. I did have plans, but unfortunately somehow those plans didn't include me. Well I guess it should be of no surprise really. The funny thing is that on Boxing Day, this dispear and loneliness basically lifted right off and I was back to normal (well as normal as one can be!). You know how sometimes you feel like you give so much of yourself and it kind of gets thrown back in your face... yeah well thats what it was like for me at Christmas this year. I guess I have learnt that its just me against the world and that next year I will be better prepared.

Ok so enough about the doom and gloom.... here are the highlights :)

• Christchurch in September: yes I know there was an earthquake that could have been very catastrophic - especially when it was the same magnitude that descimated Haiti months before, but the fact that we were all there for mum's birthday was just truely incredible... there were only two people missing - Ashley & Laura, so when I mean everyone was there for mums birthday, I pretty much mean EVERYONE!!!! I think we counted something like 50 family members alone!! It was a pretty special time and some of the most fun I had had all year... even after the quake it was kind of nice... I mean that it is something that we all share and can look back on in years to come and say "do you remember mums 80th?"
• London Baby!!!!! OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE LONDON!!!!! This was seriously without doubt one of THE most exciting things I have EVER DONE!!!! That includes seeing Robbie in concert two nights in a row back in 2006. Man alive, my sister & I spent basically the first day saying how much we felt at home - this was really only on the tube trip to the accommodation and then into town the next morning... but then we get out at Piccadilly Circus and I can honestly say that both our jaws dropped and if we weren't so restraint we would have actually jumped up & down with glee... yes thats right, with glee!! I don't know what it was about the place - the ease of getting around, the closeness of everything, the historic value, the icons that I had only seen in movies & photos... but there was just something about London that I loved so much and I have now been back for about 5 weeks and I haven't been able to stop thinking about the place. I dream of going back and seeing it again. I loved it so freaking much that I think all my friends are like "shut up already"... its so bizarre how much I loved it... so why has it taken so long for me to write about it - well.... it was kind of hard to put into words because I can't describe it any other way but I LOVE IT!!!!
• Devon and travelling - man alive England is just so beautiful & when you get into the countryside and meet the people... everyone is just so friendly. We stayed in this gorgeous pub called the Blue Ball Inn in Exeter (well on the outskirts actually) and just drove around everyday... we went to Goldworthy, Lyford, Clyst St George, Sidbury, Lyme Regis, Bath, Lulworth Castle, Corfe Castle and Christchurch. We did over 1000 miles (over 1609 km), drove on some of the smallest roads in the history of roads, managed not too fight too much and basically survived :) It was such a brilliant trip and in such a brilliant place. So beautiful - the whole trip was amazing but my favourite places were Bath, Lulwoth Castle & Corfe Castle... oh and Christchurch Priory is simply amazing!!!
• Paris - admittedly I didn't really enjoy Paris as much as I should have or could have, but of course its a highlight because.... well... its Paris!!! Seeing the Eiffel Tower up close & personal - especially at night and especially when it sparkles on the hour, has to be one of my top ten highlights of my ENTIRE life....actually thats a great idea for a blog!! Paris itself, unfortunately, didn't really do it for me to be honest - I guess there are just some places that you love and some you don't so much. I felt the same way about Vietnam - everyone else loved it and I felt kind of strange that I didn't... don't get me wrong both Vietnam & Paris are beautiful amazing places, but they just didn't really do it for me. It wasn't the people - the French have this rep for being rude etc, but I didn't find them that way to be honest. Actually quite the opposite - everyone we spoke to were rather friendly (a couple a little TOO friendly!!!) but there was diffently no rudeness. I did find that they don't give a shit about anyone else tho - not in a bad way.. just in a "I'm gonna do things my way and if you don't like it well too bloody bad" way... But yeah, it is amazing that I can say I have been to Paris... which really isn't for everyone but then again I know a few people who said they didn't like London so its really all about you isn't it. Mind you I can say that I didn't like Melbourne when I first went there, now I can honestly say that its one my favourite cities in the world - you just have to scratch the surface and see whats underneath to really appreciate a place and maybe I just have to go back to Paris to scratch away a little ;)
• November 6, 2010 - All Blacks vs England at Twickenham..... and yes I WAS THERE!!!!! Thanks to the generosity of a wonderful friend, I got to experience something that I will probably never be able to experience ever again... Seeing the All Blacks live at Twickenham on my 38th Birthday.... yep thats right!! Talk about an amazing birthday!! My niece Laura, who is living in London, came along and it was such a wonderful time. 80,000 screaming fans... Prince Harry in the crowd.... and my man Richie McCaw, father of my future childen on the field... it really doesn't get much better! Highlight of the game - when the AB's did the haka, the Engligh fans singing Swing Low Sweet Chariot - I don't think I have heard anything so beauitful... it was just so amazing to experience. It got so loud in there during the game - nothing like I have experienced before and I have been to a few games in my time!! Another highlight... watching my niece take close up photos of the crowd trying to find Prince Harry... it was so funny!! After the game we headed back to our accommodation where Lynette had made a yummy meal complete with chocolate birthday cake with candles! I can't say where I will be next year on my birthday (Vegas anyone!), but I can honestly say without a shadow of a doubt that my 2010 birthday was the best one yet!
  

So there you have it - 2010 in a nutshell... was it the best year of my life? Um no... but the trip to the UK was definitely a highlight of my life and its going to be hard to top...

Well its over & out from me for 2010... see you next year :)

Two weeks to go!!

Man alive, I cannot believe that in this time in 2 weeks I will be going to sleep in Brisbane knowing that the next day I will be flying to London - ok I probably won't be able to sleep from the excitment but you know what I mean.

It really is amazing to me - I can't describe it any other way, but amazing. I think because its been such a long time coming and now for it to be in just 15 sleeps, just doesn't seem real at all.

I have so much planned and now my concern is that I won't get to do everything or that I will be too tired or something. I don't know. I just want to be able to get out there and do things & be a tourist.... Its so freakin exciting!!!

Still doesn't seem real

I arrived in Christchurch on Wednesday 1st September to prepare for my mother's 80th birthday on Saturday 4th September. The rest of the family was also beginning to arrive - we had about 40 family members in town for the celebration and were planning a lovely afternoon tea for mum - complete with cucumber sandwiches & scones with jam & cream... Little did we know going to sleep on Friday night after trying on party clothes that out plans out be changed - not just a little, but completely and utter changed.

4:36am 4th September 2010 - we were awakened by a 7.1 earthquake - one of the biggest quakes to hit NZ. Definitely one of the biggest to hit a major centre. It was certianly one of the scariest moments I have ever experienced. I think that the fact that I was with family certainly helped a lot. Probably one of the stupidest things I have ever done however was jumping in the car and going to check on my mother at 4.50am - I had no idea what the roads were like but I just needed to get there... it was very bizarre however to see all the cars coming in the opposite direction - might have had something to do with the fact that I was going towards the beach and they were coming from it...but at 5am you don't really expect to see about 250 cars coming at you one after the other!

Luckily, apart from minor house damage, all the family in Christchurch is safe and sound. There has been so much damage but for them to all be ok is awesome. Sadly tho the aftershocks are still coming and causing some concern as the weaken already weakened buildings. Some of central Christchurch is beyond repair - meaning a lot of the older buildings cannot be fixed and are now being completely destroyed for safety reasons.

Its hard to think of Christchurch ever being the same again - there will be a pre-earthquake and post-earthquake Christchurch. I know that the people of Chch will survive because NZlders are those kind of people. Still its hard to see a lot of those places that I grew up around or worked near have now gone or are as good as. Its a very sad moment for a very beautiful city.

We ended up having just having a family thing at my brothers farm - we all went different ways because some of the roads were not opened - I think thats one of the hardest things. You go along your normal life and then realise something is out of whack when you turn the corner onto a road you have driven down hundreds of times just to find it closed or to find a building you use to frequent a lot is now damaged... it puts a lot of things into perspective.

The shops down the road from my nephew - Corner Edgeware Rd & Barbadoes St

Brooke, Aimee & Taylor standing on Avonside Dr - opposite to where my parents use to live

Church down the road from my nephews - Edgeware Road

The dairy I use to frequent - usually on my way to work on a Saturday

I am not one to use the word 'surreal' (thank you Adam Hills!), but the 24 hours that followed were some of the most surreal of my life. You felt like what had happened wasn't quite real and you kept asking yourself and those around you whether or not it did actually happen & you didn't dream it. I will certainly never forget the feeling when I realised what was going on. I am so thankful that 1) my family were all ok and their houses were pretty much all ok & 2) there were actually no fatalities. As much as it is sad that we have lost some amazing buildings & homes - you can always rebuild those. People - not so much!