Sunday, March 10, 2013

I wish...

I love writing and taking photos and always thought my perfect job would be travel writer & photographer.  But now I see that it wouldn't work... 3 things are wrong with that dream:

1)  I can't write... I mean I can write but I don't think I can write well.  I don't think I have the talent to draw people into my writing that some people have.  I don't use the right words sometimes and I abbreviate when I shouldn't but that's just who I am.  I was told once that I write the same way I talk - not sure if it was a compliment or not.. haha.  I try to get my point across with writing but I think you lose something, especially when you have never met the person whose writing you are reading.  Anyhoo... I don't think I could write for a living because I don't think I have the talent for it.

2)  I know people out there would say I am a good photographer... well here's the rub... I am not a photographer, I just happen to be a person who takes photos.  Sometimes it works but most of the time it doesn't!  Thankfully because of this digital age I can take 200 photos and I might be lucky to get two decent ones out of it.  I see a lot of errors with my photos, like the composition being off - too be honest I don't even know what composition is... haha.  I guess I am lucky with my photography... actually most of my "really good" photos are actually flukes!  Also I think that taking photos has a kind of a big amount pressure added to it.. I mean with writing if you get it wrong, you can edit it but with photos once you have taken it, that's it... no more!  I mean you can edit it somewhat but at the end of the day you are still going to have the photo you have taken.  I don't think I could stand up to that kind of pressure.

3)  Now travel... in all honesty I have not been that many places around the world. Yes I have traveled throughout NZ and some places in Australia but I have actually only been to 4 other countries - Vietnam, which I didn't really like and can't see myself going back to; UK and that was only to London and the South West - Loved it but need to go back for more; France - well 3 days in Paris isn't probably the best testament to actually saying I visited France; and the US - again only a couple of places so can't really gauge the country on the 4 places I went..   Also I require a certain amount of comfort when travelling... such as - no hostels for me!!  I prefer at least a 3 star hotel (mind you some of those are not much better than hostels!). Also I am not a 'do anything for a story' kind of girl when it comes to travelling.  I know what I like and that is history & architecture... I loved the colonial buildings of Philadelphia, pretty much everything about London - St Paul's, Temple Church, Greenwich, Houses of Parliament etc and the pretty little villages with their own history throughout the South West of England.  When I went to the British Museum, it wasn't the Egyptian history that fascinated me as I thought it would be.. it was the Greek & Roman.

I guess that what I am saying is that whilst dreams are free, you need to be realistic about what it is you are dreaming about.  I am 40 years old and I am no closer to knowing what I want to do with my life than when I was 20. Sometimes it can be quite depressing watching family & friends discover their dreams and pursuing them but sitting back thinking "what is my dream?"  Don't get me wrong, I love that they have discovered what it is they want to do and a chasing that dream, but I just wish sometimes my dream would stand up and smack me in the face and say "Hey, you should be chasing me!"


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