Saturday, March 16, 2013

No Regrets... They Don't Work



Have to admit.. No Regrets is not my favourite Robbie Williams song, but he has it right... Regrets just don't work.

I mean you can't go back and change the thing you regret doing or not doing so what's the point of worrying about it or even thinking about it again.  What's done is done and nothing is going to change that...

Ok so sometimes you can change some things... like for example, I now regret not going to the Empire State Building when I was in NYC last year.  That's ok because I know I will go to NYC again and I will be able to go the Empire State Building then... no biggie...

But I can't change the fact that I wish I had spent more time with my dad before he died.  Oh how I wish I could change that period of my life but I can't and I have to live with that now.  There is no point worrying about it, I know my dad loved me and he knew that I loved him and at the end of the day that is all that matters.

I don't regret for one second jumping on that plane nearly 4 weeks ago and flying home so see my sick mother... I know that if I didn't and the outcome wasn't as good as it was then I would regret THAT decision more!  People tried to tell me not to go, "there's nothing you can do" was a common comment... you know what tho, I felt so much better for being there for two weeks and watching my mum get stronger every day.. I learnt in that time that my mum is seriously one of the most inspirational people on the planet!  She is strong and resilient and I wish I was more like her... a lot of people who were in her situation would have given up but she didn't and she is proving every day that if you believe in yourself, then you will get there.

Your life is defined by the choices you make.. sure along the way you will make the wrong choices but hey, that's what being human is all about.  If everything went perfect every time, you wouldn't have the experience to know a bad decision when it happened.  Gut feelings are a powerful thing, but you gotta be listening to your gut in order to follow it.

Yes, sure I have LOTS of regrets... I regret not doing better in school, I regret I didn't lose weight when I was younger, I regret not going to the UK in my twenties.. one thing I don't regret is moving to Australia - I know some people might think differently because of my recent comments but I have enjoyed my time here and I have made some amazing friends who will friends for life no matter where we are in the world.  My relationship with both my parents grew considerably because of this move and I know that when I go home in a years & half time that I will be a different person, a stronger person.  I could never regret that...

I also do not regret my decision to leave Australia.  I knew from the moment I arrived in Brisbane that I was never going to be here for the rest of my life.  I always knew that I would end up back in Christchurch and even though over the years it has been harder & harder to leave when I go home to visit and there have been times such as my father's death, the Chch quakes and my mothers health that have made me want to go back sooner and I glad with my decision to go back next year.

Someone I respect a lot once said to me "Don't make emotional decisions" and I have held true to that... it would be easy to go home earlier but I have a plan and I need to hold fast to that plan because if I don't... I might regret it....

I definitely believe that things happen for a reason, sometimes the reason doesn't just jump up and smack you in the face; sometimes it's more of a subtle nudge but there is always a reason - for all the good & bad that happens! You just have to believe that one day, hopefully sooner rather than later, that reason will show itself and you will be "Oh of course!!!!!  It all makes perfect sense now!"

Don't regret the decisions you made.. they have led you to where you are right now, which is exactly where you are meant to be.

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